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white_on_bread
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Name: Whitney
Country: United States
State: Kansas
Metro: Manhattan
Birthday: 7/23/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: theater mainly, painting, writing, drawing, reading, watching t.v. and movies, computers, music.. that's about all i spose
Expertise: being a sex god.....or not.....
Occupation: Artist
Industry: Entertainment
Message: message me
Member Since:
7/13/2003
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| so the cloud gatherer is going to ACTF..
which is cool..
however ACTF is at my school...
boring...
apparently we have a really good shot at nationals... which would be awesome..
i'm chillin' at my mom's house...
basically being bored..
my laptop has nothing wrong with it THANK GOD!
yeah i was a dumbass and spilled soda on it... but it's fine now...
i guess we're going to disneyworld this weekend...
and shopping! sweet!
what a boring entry...
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| upon further inspection...
i believe that i am scared to go back to kansas because i feel like i'm so close... so close to something... i don't know what... it's something that i can feel just beyond my reach... but i feel like if i leave it'll slip farther and farther away from me...
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| JUST SOME THINGS THAT HAVE BEEN ON MY MIND RECENTLY....
UGH!!! thinking about the future is fucking stressful!
so as of now i'm planning on going back to WSU to finish my degree... but i'm starting to freak out about getting all my classes done... there are certain classes that are not offered in the 08-09 school year... and i REALLY REALLY REALLY don't want to stay any longer than a year at WSU....
i'd be soo pissed if i had to stay another year just for one or two classes..... ahhh!!! i hate college...
and then there's the whole thing of where the fuck am i going to live when i go back to wichita? i REFUSE to live in the dorms as a senior.... and i really don't want to live in an apartment by myself so i could try to save some money... i don't even know... i'll have to get in contact with some people before i move back and see if anyone would want to live with me next year...
if all else fails i could probably live with shawn again.... ugh.. let's hope that doesn't happen....
in some ways i've been feeling better about the future cus i've been reading a REALLY good book that's helping feel better about my laziness and the way i approach my art and is sort of giving me the kick in the ass i need.... next quarter i'm taking all theater classes and crashing an acting class...possibly a dance class also... and i'm GOING TO GET IN SHAPE DAMNIT!!!
i'm using this new year as an excuse to really get my act together and start taking my career seriously.... i don't view it as some unattainable thing that no one does anymore because here... a lot of people do it, have done it, are doing it..... it's not impossible.. it's just hard... and i need to stop being so afraid of it all...
the thought of not being here next year is also a truly frightening thought for me... the feeling that EVERYTHING IS HERE is amazing... it's all here... the agencies, the studios, the auditions... EVERYTHING... and everybody knows somebody in the entertainment industry... it's everywhere.... i'm learning so much by just being here....
WSU is such a big musical theater school that a lot of times i felt like i should just give up or defective or something because i went to midwest and nothing came of it... i'm not a very good singer or dancer... and it made me really frustrated.. but kind of like cale said in his blog... i've realized that that's not who i am... even though i may love watching musicals and singing along to them in my car/shower/room... that's just not what i should be doing... i'm interested in straight theater and film... so LA is the place to be...
i just wish it wasn't so expensive to live out here...
since i've been here i feel like i've become much more confident with myself and who i am... i used to be constantly plagued with uncertainty and guilt about why i wasn't more dedicated... but i came this far right? i wanted to go to LA so i found a way i could go and still afford it didnt i? there must be some dedication in there somewhere... and this book i'm reading says that the more afraid you are and the more resistance you feel toward something, the more you need it and the more your heart is devoted to it... so that makes me feel better...
it's just scary making decisions because with every decision you make you close another door.. you let another opportunity slip away... but it's better than not making any choices at all.. you never get anywhere that way....
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| god im so mad at myself....
i got so drunk last night that there are things i can't remember....
and i HATE that....
whenever i do this i tell myself i won't ever again....
i slept for like 4 hours and now for some reason i'm WIDE awake....
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| life is pretty good..
i've been having a lot of fun recently...
but i've probably been going out too much...
so somebody went thru and read all of my old xanga entries starting with the very 1st one...
CREEPY...
midterms are finally over thank fucking god...
quarters go by SO FAST!!
i can't believe i've already been here for like a month and a half...
this year is going to go by SO FAST!
i need to focus more on school next quarter... i'm going to be way more busy...
my development class is fucking hard!!
and i'm so happy about not having any gen eds next quarter!!!
i still have NO IDEA what's going on next year...
i'm kind of trying not to think about it...
i'm trying to learn spanish...
my dorm apartment is loud, dirty, and full of girls... too much...
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okay so i've never really lived with a lot of girls... and i have made the assessment...
GIRLS ARE FUCKING GROSS!!!
between their weaves being ALL OVER the bathroom...
dirty panties,
giant bras,
not washing dishes,
shaving,
make-up,
it's just gross...
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